It's been a while since I've come here.....i've been a bit lost within the unstructured spontaneity of the summer.I feel like a gas that has been released into the atmosphere....no form to fill...just free floating into the nothing. On one hand, I am enjoying the freedom and on the other I am missing the feeling of productivity that routine and structure bring.
My emotions have been all over the place....it feels as if the continents within me are shifting...taking on a profoundly new placement....the pangs of growth.
At times like these I cling desperately to the principles of faith and trust....holding tight to the tiny branch being thrust about by a forceful storm.....
this too shall pass and reveal an open clearing into which I can continue to expand.....
I often wonder why i write the way i do....resistant to the structure of the english language....no periods to end my sentence...no real defined sentence even....open ended....each flowing into the next...my words reflect my thoughts...intertwined and relative to the next.
like a poet....using language to navigate through the mystical realm.....
form scares me....
smothers....
alters the life of the words in some way....
it could just be me....
it seems i have a problem staying grounded....pinned to the earth....left to my own devices i would just stay a formless gas.....
the effort to focus this expression into some structure means bringing it into this world....it is necessary in the process of creativity...making it real....giving it life....something tangible that can carry the message of your unique voice....
god, it's hard.....
the vocation of true self realization.....
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