prisoner

to see the disease of alcoholism/addiction in action.....god it tears my heart open. the enslavement, the hopelessness.....i am full of rage that this beast comes in and takes the life of those who host it.

such fearful desperation.....caught in a loop...trapped by the overwhelming urges that lead. i am grateful to be free today.....now with the awareness to identify it all around me....it is rampant...so much suffering because of dependencies. it kills me....

how i wish i could help liberate those who have been claimed....may they find the grace they need to move into action and save their lives.

i don't understand why this is such a shameful disease to speak of....why must it be protected, hushed, whispered? the light of truth, of awareness is the very medicine that can free people of this....secrecy supports the nature of this disease.

i had a conversation with a man last night.....young, handsome......hopeless. he told me he wants to die...he told me he knows his drinking is carrying him to death but he thinks its best......such distortion.....the deluded thinking that accompanies alcoholism/addiction....it's a perfect setup. i looked into his eyes and saw so much desperation, so much suffering....i saw my father....and my heart broke.

drowning....crying....wanting so much to be pulled from the fire....burning slowly before my eyes.....all the while the helpless stand and watch....paralyzed

i hate this beast.....this beast that takes so many.....

the very thing that they run to with hopes of easing their pain is the very thing that puts a wedge between them and life, creating more pain....like a plant with no sunlight....they slowly wither and die...a slow spiritual death....suffering...agony....my god

life is worth living...in freedom there is so much love, so much joy....

i pray for their liberation.....may they want to live...may they have a moment of grace to see past the self created delusion of hopelessness and despair.....this is my prayer for all those who suffer with this disease.