sometimes i miss what is left behind me.....some losses bigger and more weighing on my heart than others....i understand why it is more appealing to live in the past - you don't have to let go...you can keep all your ghosts with you.....avoid going through the pain of acknowledging what is no longer there....insidious it may be but effective none-the-less.
what courage it takes to live in the now....willing to look at what is....willing to allow the sometimes painful changes to occur....sometimes i am inclined to turn away...to look to the next distraction to take my attention....sometimes i don't want to see
an unwillingness to look is an unwillingness to change....
sure it's comforting to remain connected to all that once secured you, but the insulation of that delusion is only an illusion....bound to fall from your sight.....truth shall always be revealed
at times i feel like retreating to what is familiar.....reclaiming what has been lost.....
but i know today that i must endure this process.... this cleansing.....this mourning
keep walking forward.......
some things still live in the crevices of my heart and surface periodically to remind me of a time lost.....
i can honor these places today and grieve them accordingly........
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