stuck somewhere in the middle of my old life and the one i am growing into......sometimes it's difficult to see the one in front of me and all i feel is a sense of loss and displacement.....
when i visit my old neighborhood and my old friends, it feels so familiar and comfortable....makes me wonder if i want to be where i am....if my pulling away from that life was really worth it.....
i can see them, most in the same place as when i left, going through the same cycles, same bars, same drama.....what seems appealing is that they have each other....the grand illusion of security...
there is a part of me that wants to abandon all i have built and run back into the arms of the past, into the security of the unconscious group.....find "love", family and tradition in the ways i've always known it....a disconnected, addicted, avoided way of living that, crazy as it may sound, seems to promise some sort of comfort.......
it's amazing how delusional i can become at the prospect of fulfilling my loneliness.....
i have enough sense to know that i would fall into the same dark hole i climbed out of......that the illusion of security that life presents is just that.....an illusion.
today i am aware of who i am and i stand in a clearing where possibility is endless.....i wouldn't trade that for the world....
keep walking.........
on this road i have an opportunity for true fulfillment........
i am grateful to be where i am.....
No comments:
Post a Comment