veritas

I remember back to the start of my conscious spiritual journey….there was a constant restlessness within me…a longing for something that I felt had strayed far beyond my reach…..i was living in the confines of an inauthentic life…going through the motions of daily living….hoping that the day ahead would not play out as the one before had…..always shutting my eyes at it’s close disappointed…..round and round I went….lost…seeking escape …..turning away from reality…the reality of my inner life….what I felt…..what I needed….who I am….i began not to even recognize what that was anymore….my spirit was dying……

I was inspired to flee….to uproot…start anew…shake off the accumulated hardened shell of a human being I had become…..a body devoid of spirit marching to an unconscious tune into the abyss…..i sometimes wonder how I awoke…..graced with awareness that would reveal in glimpses just where I was headed if I continued on this path….

i had no idea where I was going but I walked anyway….fueled by the longing for a clearing, I walked into the dark forest…the unknown….with faith as my only companion I began to trust the signals the universe would give…the subtle indications that I was walking in the right direction….with each step I took another layer fell…more revealed itself from the inside…an integration of body and spirit…..a disintegration of the mask…..my faith grew…my absolute trusting in the unseen forces that govern our lives….the energetic web of the universe and my eternal connection to it…..

I came to life…..my heart, once heavy with sorrow, began to open…breath moved through my body with vigor…..i was alive…I wrestled away from the bondage of self….from the identification I had come to embrace…..i was free…

and as I stand where I am and look back, I can see how my desire for truth was the fire that moved me to action……..